If you've a strong family history of HORRIBLE, PAINFUL DEATH.. have kids!

This man had a family history of fatal cancers. His mom, dad, and little sister ALL DIED from cancer. That might mean it's... ohh, I don't know, GENETIC. So what does he do after claiming all the religious stuff healed him?.... He had two kids.

Yes.

Two kids.

Because when everyone in your blood family has died from versions of the same damned thing, it's a smart choice to pass those genes on to kids. But I'm suuure they won't suffer as everyone else in your family has.

Vagina Monologues?

This commercial trips me out. I really can't imagine my "V" having input in my daily activities. If it did, I’d never step foot into a waxing salon/ slaughterhouse. The screams... ohh, the screams...

Anyway, who’d want to hear “mmph mmmppphh MMMPPHGH”s of protest with every little tampon or sexy time? I’m pretty certain my mom’s has gone hoarse by now.



It’s kinda funny how these commercials made it past multiple departments without being considered racist. I mean, don’t they think pasty white women are just as capable of wearing tacky animal prints whilst rolling their necks at the club? For shaaaame.

Been Verified: Because you KNOW no convictions = TRUST!

Lady in blue, I BET I wouldn't have gone on a date with that Eastern Indian dude who suddenly beat his meat on my couch (an impressive footlong sammich, but STILL) if he'd BEEN VERIFIED first! 


And hey, preggo in the red/pink getup, there is no way in hell that your knocked-up ass is going to befriend some nutjob with a bump fetish who just wants to break your water (or steal your fetus from its womb)... because he/she's Been VERIFIED!! Shyeah!!